Plumbing

Every time I take on another plumbing project – and there have been many, in my years as a homeowner – I question my own sanity. Why would someone voluntarily subject himself (I identify as him) to such a torture? Either you end up with a leak or you worry that you will discover one later. You make countless trips to Home Depot – or worse, shop online for the more unusual, specialized fittings that aren’t available locally.

There are plumbers in this world. People who are trained and experienced.

And they cost money. And they chip away at my illusion that I can do everything myself.

So I dig out my basic tools, clinch my teeth, and remind myself of the 4 basics of plumbing, basic principles that were handed down to me many years ago:

1.     Shit flows downhill.

2.     Payday is on Friday.

3.     The boss is a sonofabitch.

4.     Don’t bite your fingernails.