I learned a new 6-syllable word: spondylolisthesis. It means the vertebrae in my spine do not behave themselves, do not stay in formation. They apparently did not go through the same boot camp as I did. Or, more likely, they just don't give a shit anymore.
Vertebrae being what they are and where they are, when one of them slips out of alignment, a nearby nerve snitches on it. Then I get the pain. I glare at the offending bone. It looks back at me as if to say, "Okay, big shot, what are you going to do about it?"
An orthopedic surgeon, answering that question, offered me two Options:
1. Surgery to fuse a couple (or maybe 3) vertebrae together in my lower back, or
(b) inject some goop around that nerve to get it so drunk that it no longer sees the vertebrae slipping around.
Today Terry, P.A., injected 2 cc's of the goop between L4 and L5 while Stephanie employed a continuous X-ray to show Terry where his needle was going. The discomfort was, for me, somewhere between having a tooth pulled and stubbing my toe on an erupting volcano.
It really wasn't that bad, but I have had more fun.
My expectation is a substantial reduction in lower back pain for some number of months, after which I will be faced with Options 1 and b again. Meanwhile, I will look for Option X, whatever that is.
By the way, if you've read this far, I'll assume you're up for just a bit more of this drivel...my bones are quite old and the MRI showed a substantial amount of arthritis -- the osteo kind, not the rheumatoid kind -- which would complicate Option 1, while reducing the effectiveness of Option b.
When I was much younger, it seemed as though I always had some good options. Now, not so much.
Still, it's better than stubbing my toe on an erupting volcano.
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