Somewhere above the Tasman Sea aboard Qantas 145 between Sydney and Auckland: The headphones only worked for the right ear, so I turned the volume up, trying to drown out the engine and wind noises. On the video screen, a documentary on (lack of) modern manners sounded interesting, and probably would have been had I been able to understand at least 51% of the words. The background noise, the Aussie accent (these people talk funny!), the half-active headphones, and my age-appropriate hearing loss all conspired to sabotage the experience. After 3 minutes, I ripped the headphones off and tried to asphyxiate myself by wrapping the cord around my neck. A flight attendant sternly reminded me that suicides are not permitted on eastbound flights while the window shades are down. Shit!
Rules. They suck.
First rule; there are no rules
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