Taz and Gaga

 Probably several thousand times I have listened to the national anthem. Rarely I have either very positive or very negative impressions of the performance.

 

Several years ago I was blown away by Meat Loaf singing Star Spangled Banner at some sporting event. Just days ago I was blown away by Lady Gaga’s version at Joe Biden’s inauguration.

 

Last night I puked all over Brandon “Taz” Niedenauer’s version just before the kickoff at the AFC Championship game in Kansas City. 

 

Over the years, I have heard some singers jazz it up, adding notes here and there, notes that make me think they are just showing off, stomping on a piece of music that is more or less sacred. There are something like 95 notes in the Lady Gaga version – she didn’t add any of her own. “Taz” probably played something like 3,000 notes, making it barely recognizable as our national anthem.

 

Some people apparently liked it. Detroit Sports Nation – whatever publication that might be – had this headline today:

Guitarist Brandon Niederauer absolutely rocks national anthem prior to AFC title game

 

Add this to the mounting evidence that I am just a grouchy old man telling young people to stay off my lawn.

 

The NFL doesn’t care what people my age like. They want young people to sign up, bow down, buy the jerseys. I get it. But I don’t like it.

 

 

Thanks, Karen

On January 7 I went to the Des Peres Lodge, where I am a member, to do routine exercises. Normally, I leave my hearing aids at home so I can use earbuds connected to my iPhone while I exercise. But on that day I was wearing the hearing aids when I got to the Lodge. I took the hearing aids out and stowed them in the pocket of a jacket hanging on a hook near the track. I thought it was my jacket, but when I reached into my jacket pocket after exercising, the hearing aids were not there. I had put them in the pocket of someone else’s jacket, hanging next to mine and resembling my jacket’s style and color – and that jacket was gone when I went back to search for the missing hearing aids.

I asked the management at the Lodge to be on the lookout for misplaced hearing aids. Perhaps the person whose jacket I put the hearing aids in would discover them. And figure out they got pocketed at the Lodge. And return them to the Lodge. And the Lodge would notify me. All of these things happening made it a really long shot.

On January 15 a woman named Karen reached in her jacket pocket and found hearing aids, which was a total surprise to her. She racked her brain, and concluded that the only place she had left her jacket unattended was at the Lodge. She called the Lodge. The desk there called me, gave me Karen's number. I called Karen, she gave me her Chesterfield address, and 20 minutes later she handed the hearing aids to me. She refused a cash reward, saying she wasn't raised that way.

It is comforting to know that there are Karens in the world.

And yes, I know that some people use "Karen" as a derogatory term. I won't, that's for sure.