Two Thumps, One Chump

I heard two thumps, very close together. Sitting on the deck, I turned toward the sliding glass door. On the deck near the glass was this small bird ---

-- and his identical twin. The only difference between the two was that the one in the photo was not moving. His twin was in the same pose, but twitching.

I should put the poor bugger out of his misery, I thought. It would be the merciful and kind thing to do. End his suffering. Let's see, a gun. No, that's overkill (yeah, pun intended). Knife? Ice pick? While trying to decide on the right execution method, ...

... an opposing argument formed in my head: Leave him alone. Maybe he's only stunned, and he will recover and fly away.

The opposing argument won. Let nature be nature.

When I turned to look after a few minutes, Frick had abandoned Frack and fled.

Frack has been moved to the flower bed. It will be dark soon, and, nature being nature, Frack will be gone in the morning.

A Seinfeld Episode

I picked up a “loaner” car, a 2015 Acura TLX, from the Acura dealer today. Why, you ask?

Because my 2010 Acura TSX is being repaired. Why, you ask, did it need repairs?

Because it was parked outside in a hailstorm. Why, you ask, did I park it outside in a hailstorm?

Because I was employed as a local election official for the April election, and that meant parking outdoors at an elementary school. Inside, we heard the thunderstorm, then hail on the building roof. No way to protect the cars outside.

Why, you ask, did I seek work as an election official?

Because I make about $150 for a 15-hour workday. That’s big money for a senior citizen living on Social Security. Also, I get some satisfaction from fixing elections.

And where, you ask, is this story going?

Well, two places:

1.    My deductible on comprehensive insurance is $500, so it cost me a net $350 for my 15-hour workday. That’s big money for a senior citizen living on Social Security.

2.    The loaner car, being 5 years newer than my then-state-of-the-art 2010, has some technological advances. I had to study the instrument panel for 3 hours to figure out how to turn the radio on. There is no key, no keyhole. No gearshift lever. The navigation system switches screen displays capriciously every few seconds. Etc. Before long, dealers will have training simulators, and a person will need 75 hours in the simulator to qualify as a driver for a new model.

Seinfeld was a TV show about nothing. This blog entry has been about nothing. Therefore, this is a Seinfeld episode.